I've read in a book about mental health that the most important part of the body isn't the heart or the lungs or the brain. The biggest, most important part of the body is the part that hurts. And I can definitely relate to that. I silently struggled a lot with anxiety and depression, and I always saw my mental health as a burden I had to bear alone. My pain was not always visible and emotions could be internally consuming me, which is why I had to put on a fake mask until I reached my breakdown point. I've always been aware of my mental health because I've dealt with issues my whole life. Anxiety was constant, and depression got progressively worse after the death of my father. In addition, I got hit in the face with this loss. Being lonely and a sad mess, while trying to collect my broken pieces was so hard. This made simple tasks, like going to extracurricular activities, leaving for vacations, meeting new people, or even leaving the house, incredibly challenging. When I was depressed, I dreaded getting out of bed because I always felt unwanted by everyone I knew, which led me to isolate myself from the world and this only made things worse for me. The way mental illness impacts one person is completely different than how it could impact another person. One could have a panic attack and another can have one in a silent daze. Depression is not crying in the corner, it's the sleepless nights, the half-eaten meals, and the person feeling alone in a room full of people.
People ask me what it was like to have depression and seem surprised when they find out that I'm eager to share my story because my struggle with depression is a part of me and will always be. Do I wish I never struggled with depression? Well, it would have been nice to enjoy those years of my life, but if I had never struggled with depression, I don't think I would be the person I am today. I am someone who cares deeply about mental health-related issues and thinks that more attention should be brought to them. My mental health experience has taught me how to become more accepting, empathetic, open-minded, and that the impact others’ words can have on your life is remarkable. Despite whatever you are struggling with, you are not alone, you have to know that your strengths do not go unnoticed, that your emotions are always valid, and that you deserve support no matter what you're dealing with.
Writer: Aziza El Azizi
Editor: Islem Landolsi
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